Break Your Voice, Not Your Relationship.

In my little years in our transient world, I have seen many envious relationships crumble either suddenly or gradually neither because they were devoid of genuine feelings nor because there were instances irresponsibility. On so many occasions, many of us let our inherent egos deter us from sharing the challenges we experience. Some suppress their urges to share with thoughts that they will be regarded as being desperate, others simply want to paint perfect pictures of their relationships to everyone around them.
Be it formal, platonic or intimate, human relationships are not without shortcomings. Even homozygote twins have some differences. Communication has proven to be the best path towards resolving differences, do not let your relationship be an exception.  The action of sharing will not only create a platform for your grievances, it’ll lift the burden created by your silence. The end of a relationship begins with a silent mind battle. Don’t assume you have answers to every questionable act by your partner. Do not waste any second trying to fix matters that affect your relationship all in your head. Keep communication lines open always, even on issues that are not necessarily threats to the relationship.
More importantly, express your grievances when your partner can actually listen. Create a receptive environment for whatever you want to discuss. Do you want to be cautious about how to go about it? Indulge a friend, cousin, co-worker or anyone who strikes you as being in the best position to lend you a candid advice. If you’ll be more comfortable to share with a neutral individual with an adequate level of professionalism and discreetness please hit me up via my email: phourxydeed@gmail.com. No one is an island of knowledge. Let’s rub minds!

Beds of lies-beds of stones.

   

Remember those moments you so hoped your partner would just say the gospel truth especially on trivial issues? Those reiterating monologues resulting from our failure to understand why our "lovers" would spit out blatant lies. We all sure feel an instant disgust when that individual we hold close to our hearts decides to opt for a false account of an event. It's even worse when we are aware of the actual scenes of such an event.
     Lies, like those little cracks on a wall, are catalysts to any challenge or loophole one can think of as far as a relationship is concerned. The development of trust is proportional to the quality of truthfulness in every genuine bond between opposite sexes. If you have ever been on the receiving end, you'll totally agree that the effect of just one simple lie can crush a relationship that has been fortified with unimaginable promises. Yes!  It is that bad.        Worryingly, lying partners tend to justify this corrosive habit with irritating statements like: "I tell lies to protect my relationship",  "the truth is too bitter to bear", "no one is perfect" and many more. As humanly as these statements sound,  it not acceptable in every sense of rationality. If roles were to be switched,  who would love to be lied to?  Who can actually sleep at night knowing their partners are capable of retrieving the truth about a situation? I bet your conscious and sub-conscious minds will not stop trying to give explanations about how your partner must have felt when cooking up the lies.
Without further ado, if you are still wondering why your relationship is not working out, do a background check on whether your bed isn't that of lies. The true extent of the consequences of lies are negatively grave. Don't litter your bed with stones and expect a thorn-free rest. Make a pact with "truth". Even when it seems so hard to spill, DO NOT compromise. Remember that the heartache from lies affects both lovers. A bed of lies Is a bed of stones.

Two Can Play The (intimacy) Game

      

  So many times, I hear disturbing statements with overtones of venomous bitterness spilled by ladies who feel the pleasures of intimacy are only for male counterparts. While a large part of these reasoning patterns can be said to have been induced by the society we find ourselves, it is no excuse to keep dwelling in such misconceptions as several forms of awareness have been raised to show that lovemaking is in fact more pleasurable for females, should they know exactly how to go about it. To be fair, it is true that the aim of climaxing clouds the thoughts of most men during intimacy. Who says a woman’s thought should not be clouded by such selfish aims? To a large extent, females dictate the development of love making activities just before “the beast” is unleashed for penetration. In most cases, even a very egocentric man finds himself dancing to whatever tune his female partner composes. The moment before he is allowed to embark on his lonely but gruesome struggle for climax is one in which his vulnerability is laid bare.

                How exactly do you want to be touched? What are your favorite spots? Whatever tickles your fancy, this is the ideal time to play your best cards. If your desire is to get him to make you experience all the fantasy there is in intimacy, trust me, he’ll gladly oblige. Let him understand that he is entitled to whatever he gives and you’ll see him approach the occasion with uttermost dedication and seriousness.

Do not however, allow that feeling of inexplicable arousal which occurs as a result of your temporary dictatorial rule overwhelm and prompt you to short-live your reign. Get at least very close to your “Eden” before you change the decree that held “him” captive.

                These tips are very practicable. Follow them holistically, experience the realistic fantasy of intimacy. If he’s got game, then its game on for you too.

                  

Forgiveness is a virtue. Grudge is a burden.

Has he/she torn your world apart?  Has your hope been dashed?  Your plans have been shattered.  No!  your happiness has been soiled. The bastard should be punished. How can you get back at this person ? Your heart must be filled with disgust right now.  Never!  You can't go into any relationship with commitments again. The list can go on and on. These are our thoughts when we've been hurt. The excruciating pain of a failed relationship, One of those unfortunate events we encounter as humans.
   Some nurture these thoughts like a nursing mother to her child. Others regurgitate them when their minds are idle. Yes!  It is very difficult to forgive but what will the grudges lead to? Many find themselves literally bitter for so many months,  sometimes  years just because they've been hurt.  Some become sexists and others are busy plotting towards the downfall of their "heartbreakers".
   Often times, grudges overpower those good parts of us and turn us into beings we never could have imagined.  The inability to snap out of an unpalatable situation keeps the mind depressed. Forgiving unleashes sadness, it makes the mind light, it cures the illness of bitterness and to a large extent it makes us stronger. Shock that "heartbreaker" today and set your soul free.

Exactly how long should a relationship last?

 

As years flip through,  long term relationships are fast fading from reality into tele-novelas. The hurt and waste of time which constitute the consequences of  this type of relationship has kept so many from travelling that road.  For men, the scar from a failed long term relationship seem to clear up in no time but the female folk cannot say the same. Experiences have shown that ladies are hardly capable to start all over again. The thought of trying to adjust their lifetystles which has been fine- tuned becomes a nightmare. In general the irreversible commitment by both parties  is one very difficult sacrifice to make these days.
    However, let's not forget that there are two sides to a coin.  It uncritical to not highlight the numerous advantages of a long term relationship and it's gross success in the past and present. Having spent so much time together,  partners seem to be fond of each other. Each party learns to cope with the other, the bond is usually without limits. It also promotes deep levels of trust in one another, in fact the list is endless.  Let it be known also that couples who dated for long periods tend to be more resilient in keeping their marriages.
      The sad truth about all good relationships is that things cannot always be smooth.  Challenging times will pop up and being able to fight for the relationship as best as one can is key to its success.  Both parties need to learn to forgive and know that nothing good comes easy. Partners should approach shortcomings as a test, overcome them and move on quickly.
     Its very delightful to wake up every morning knowing that someone somewhere trusts and loves you unconditionally. Many years of being together guarantees this.  So if you have been seeing someone for some time, do your best to keep him/her for as long as you can.  Unimaginable joy awaits you.  And if you are still not convinced that long term relationships are ideal,  ask yourself if marriages are without glitches.